This being the first personal essay I am submitting, any criticism is appreciated. Comment anything I should change with the flow, topics, or anything else. The essay is as close to 650 words as I could get and is definitely under 650, so no need for trimming unless there is something completely unnecessary. The prompt I used was "Have you ever felt embarrassed by the things that you used to like?"
Personal Essay 1:
There aren’t many things that I am embarrassed about that I used to like from my childhood, most likely because I like the same things now that I am older (such as my continued interest in dinosaurs from my first memories). The two interests that I held as a child that I want to leave in the past were my interests in the television series Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine. As a child, these shows and my characters filled up my thoughts and drove many of my actions. I was so invested in it that my parents bring it up occasionally in reference to my growth as a person. Most people would look back at these interests as simple childhood interests or the formations of later careers. Not me. For some reason, I find the need to deconstruct these series and why I don’t like it as much as other things that I continue to enjoy.
For anyone who has never was or had a toddler in the early 2000s, Bob the Builder was a show about talking personified construction equipment and a construction worker who went around solving peoples problems, assisted by an impressive vibrantly colored variety of the aforementioned construction equipment. Thomas the Tank Engine was a similar show, except the machinery personified were trains instead of construction equipment.
I have several problems with the concept alone of both of the stories. The most unnatural aspect is that in both series the machinery is alive, including facial features and a complete comprehension for human language. I’m not completely disturbed by the trains, trucks, backhoe loaders, and other construction equipment talking. If it was ever explained that there was an advanced AI inside the machinery, I would be fine with that explanation. After all, that technology is already being developed. My biggest problem is that they try to make something without a semblance of human form appear as human and express emotion as though it were human through facial and body language. I do distinctly remember the construction equipment in Bob the Builder bending their axles to express a swell of emotion, as well as having a large face plastered across the front of the vehicle. Axles shouldn’t bend. If they’re bending then there’s something structurally inferior about the design and a better design should have been used. The faces of the machines in both series are the most annoying aspect for me, as they had all the correct human features, but were constructed of steel and had exaggerated facial structure or expressions. The trains and trucks are machines, not people. As I aged, these characters transformed from characters I enjoyed watching into pale imitations of natural forms and mechanical advancements alike. They were somewhere in limbo between nature and artifice, and were a failure of either.
I eventually had to choose one of the things that these “machines” chose to imitate, and I ended up fostering more of my interest in dinosaurs and other living creatures, attempting to leave my distaste in myself for liking something that I thought was flawed. I am in no way saying that the message that the shows taught is wrong. In fact, I’m confident that some of the life lessons I learned came from those series, though I cannot discern which ones. My problem was in the concept of each. There were plenty of other shows that taught similar messages to children, though I had interests in some of the least natural. Now that I want to study life sciences, I wish to leave that part of my past behind and never have to remember the construction equipment that moves like a human though it has wheels and axles or the trains that look like someone had their face cut off and then attached directly to the front of a train.
And people wonder why I don't like Thomas the Tank engine.
I think this essay answers the prompt pretty well, however some of the sentences are a little unclear in their meaning (for example I found the first sentence to be a little weird: I understood what you were trying to say, but I don't feel like you actually said it). Also, I could be wrong but from your essay I'm getting the impression that mostly the reason you dislike these two shows is a shift in interests towards biology and an embarrassment over the fact that you used to like something mechanical but this really only comes up in the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteNice essay. I like your analysis of the two different shows. It wasn't quite clear to me why you were embarrassed that you watched the shows. Like Izzy, it seemed that it was your interest in biology and also the fact that the shows were pretty unrealistic in the way they depicted the machinery with faces and also the bending tools. I think it would be helpful for the reader if you clarified a little bit why you were so embarrassed by these shows. You could just add a sentence in your intro/conclusion paragraph or something like that.
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading your essay! My sister has recently gone through a similar experience with the cars movies. She always loved them when she was super small but as she grew up she started to despise them. I think you did a very good job conveying that you are embarrassed about these shows that you used to watch but I think you could be more specific about why you were so embarrassed. If you were more specific about this it would make your story more relatable.
ReplyDeleteThe picture was a nice finishing touch. Personally, I felt that the first sentence was a bit awkward and could be reworked a bit. There was also a bit of repetition of the humanoid features of the trains. However, I liked the essay and the slight touch of humor, especially at the "axles don't bend" part. On a side note, after reading your reasons for disliking Thomas, I was curious as to how you feel about the movie Cars?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this essay. Somehow, it allowed me to kind of understand you better, but I don't fully have my head wrapped around how that worked. The voice felt really natural and honest. I found the level of disgust you expressed for your previous enjoyment of the shows to be somewhat amusing. You really seem to dislike animated vehicles with human features. My one bit of advise/criticism is to suggest that you take a look at some of the sentence structure because I stumbled in a few places while reading your essay. Other than that, I thought it was great.
ReplyDelete